By Dr. Priscilla Otuya
There is absolutely nothing wrong with a woman of God using her time, talent and treasure to honour God and support a genuine servant of God in ministry.
When the Holy Spirit genuinely leads a woman to give, serve, labour, assist, sow or stand with a legitimate vessel of God, according to her capacity and conviction, that is honourable.
There are genuine men and women of God who carry legitimate assignments and sometimes genuinely need help. A true daughter of God who recognizes such a need will not deliberately turn her face away.
That is not exploitation. That is kingdom partnership.
There are women whom God Himself has assigned to particular ministries, commissions and servants of God. God may specifically instruct such a woman to use her time, talent, resources, influence and abilities to help build that commission.
That assignment can be completely legitimate.
The problem begins when what God intended as voluntary kingdom service is converted by human beings into compulsory religious servitude.
THE EVIL ENTERPRISE OF USING GOD’S WOMEN WITHOUT WAGES
There is a pattern within organized Christianity where women are recruited, mobilized, pressured, emotionally manipulated and spiritually obligated to continually give their labour, expertise, money, time and resources—often without proper recognition, compensation, care or regard for their legitimate responsibilities.
The language is often spiritual:
“It is for God.”
“You are serving the man of God.”
“Your reward is in heaven.”
“If you really understand your calling, you will sacrifice.”
“God brought you here to serve.”
And because many women genuinely love God, they obey.
But obedience to God must never be confused with obedience to every demand made by a religious person.
A woman can love God and still say no.
A woman can honour a man of God and still have boundaries.
A woman can serve a ministry without becoming its unpaid property.
A woman can give sacrificially without surrendering her God-given agency.
And a woman can recognize genuine spiritual authority without permitting spiritual manipulation.
SERVICE IS NOT SLAVERY
Scripture teaches honour toward those who labour in the Gospel:
«“Let the elders that rule well be counted worthy of double honour, especially they who labour in the word and doctrine.”»
— 1 Timothy 5:17 KJV
But the same Scripture recognizes that labour has value:
«“The labourer is worthy of his reward.”»
— 1 Timothy 5:18 KJV
Jesus also said:
«“The labourer is worthy of his hire.”»
— Luke 10:7 KJV
Therefore, Christian spirituality must never be used as a mechanism for making another person’s labour appear worthless.
Sacrifice is biblical. Exploitation is not.
Giving is biblical. Manipulation is not.
Honour is biblical. Entitlement is not.
Kingdom service is biblical. Unaccountable servitude is not.
A woman may freely choose to serve without wages. That can be an expression of love and sacrifice.
But there is a profound difference between freely giving and being conditioned, pressured or manipulated into perpetual unpaid labour.
GOD CAN GENUINELY ASSIGN A WOMAN TO A MINISTRY
At the same time, we must not make the opposite mistake.
Sometimes God genuinely sends a woman to a particular ministry.
Sometimes God genuinely connects a woman to a particular man or woman of God.
Sometimes God says:
“Go there.”
“Serve there.”
“Support that work.”
“Use what I have given you to help build this commission.”
When God gives such an assignment, the woman should not abandon it simply because the human beings involved do not understand everything God is doing.
A leader may not understand her dimension of the assignment.
They may not understand her gifts.
They may not recognize the full extent of what God has put inside her.
They may even misunderstand her motives.
Yet the woman can remain faithful to what God told her.
The assignment is not validated by the leader’s understanding.
The assignment is validated by God.
BUT THE ASSIGNMENT STILL BELONGS TO GOD
This distinction is critical.
God may assign you to a ministry, but the ministry does not become the owner of your destiny.
God may assign you to a man of God, but that man does not become the owner of your life.
God may tell you to serve a commission, but the commission does not acquire unlimited rights over your time, body, resources, future or calling.
«“For ye are bought with a price; be not ye the servants of men.”»
— 1 Corinthians 7:23 KJV
You can serve a man of God without becoming the servant of a man.
You can serve a ministry without becoming the property of a ministry.
You can submit to legitimate spiritual order without surrendering your responsibility before God.
Do not confuse God’s use of you with somebody else’s right to use you.
WHAT IF THE LEADER IS MANIPULATIVE?
This is where discernment becomes essential.
Sometimes the person leading the ministry may genuinely misunderstand what God is doing.
Sometimes they may see only one dimension of your contribution.
And sadly, sometimes people deliberately manipulate those who serve them.
But the woman of God must not make the leader’s behaviour the compass of her assignment.
The question should be:
“What did God send me here to do?”
If God sent you, know what He sent you to do.
Do it faithfully.
Keep your heart right.
Maintain your boundaries.
Keep your eyes on Christ.
And do not allow another person’s ignorance to make you abandon God’s instruction.
But there is also an important warning:
Do not baptize manipulation simply because it appears to be helping you reach somewhere.
If somebody manipulates you in a direction that happens to resemble your God-given assignment, the manipulation itself does not become God’s will.
Your compass must remain:
God.
His Word.
The leading of the Holy Spirit.
Wisdom.
Truth.
Righteousness.
And the fruit of the relationship.
«“Prove all things; hold fast that which is good.”»
— 1 Thessalonians 5:21 KJV
THERE IS A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN BEING USED BY GOD AND BEING USED BY PEOPLE
God may use your hands to accomplish something through a particular ministry.
That does not give people ownership of your hands.
God may use your resources.
That does not make another person the owner of your resources.
God may use your expertise.
That does not make another person the owner of your calling.
God may use a season of your life in a particular commission.
That does not mean the season is permanent.
Therefore:
Do not confuse God’s use of you with somebody else’s right to use you.
IF YOU RECEIVE THE LABOUR, DO NOT DISAPPEAR WHEN THE LABOURER IS IN NEED
There is another side to this matter that must be addressed.
If a person belongs to a ministry or fellowship and continually gives that ministry her time, talent and treasure, there should also be a meaningful culture of pastoral care, responsibility, fellowship and mutual support.
This does not mean every church can solve every member’s problem.
But it does mean that a ministry should not continually consume a person’s resources while treating her struggles as somebody else’s problem.
If you have accepted her labour, received her gifts, relied upon her skills and benefited from her sacrifice, you cannot suddenly behave as though you have no relationship with her when she becomes vulnerable.
There should be:
care.
community.
accountability.
compassion.
practical support according to capacity.
The Church cannot continually ask:
“What can she give?”
without ever asking:
“What does she need?”
The early Church demonstrated a radically different principle:
«“And all that believed were together, and had all things common.”»
— Acts 2:44 KJV
And:
«“But whoso hath this world’s good, and seeth his brother have need, and shutteth up his bowels of compassion from him, how dwelleth the love of God in him?”»
— 1 John 3:17 KJV
WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN SERVING?
There is also a principle of responsibility that members themselves must understand.
If you have chosen to invest your life, resources, gifts and labour in a particular fellowship, church or ministry, then when you encounter a genuine challenge, it is reasonable to begin by looking to your own community of fellowship for care and support, where such support is available.
This is not pride.
This is not entitlement.
It is about relationship and responsibility.
I have personally had to tell people who came to me seeking help:
“Go back to where you have been serving. Go back to the fellowship where you have been giving your time, talent and treasure. Let them know that you are in need.”
Why?
Because it is not healthy for someone to pour everything into one community and then continually seek emergency rescue somewhere else while the community receiving that person’s labour remains uninvolved.
If you belong somewhere, belong there not only when you are strong enough to work, but also when you are vulnerable enough to need care.
And ministries should examine themselves when their people are consistently serving them but consistently seeking help elsewhere.
THE WOMAN OF GOD MUST LEARN BOUNDARIES
One of the greatest problems is that many women have been taught how to submit but have not been sufficiently taught how to discern.
They have been taught how to serve but not necessarily how to establish boundaries.
They have been taught how to honour a man of God but not sufficiently taught how to understand the proper relationship between a man of God and a woman of God.
They have been taught to give but not always taught to ask:
What exactly has God assigned me?
Who has God actually authorized to make this demand of me?
Is this request coming from the Spirit of God or from somebody’s personal interest?
Can I say no without being threatened spiritually?
Is this genuine kingdom partnership or dependency being created around my labour?
Am I serving God, or am I being used to build somebody else’s personal empire?
These are questions of discernment.
«“Beloved, believe not every spirit, but try the spirits whether they are of God.”»
— 1 John 4:1 KJV
GOD RECOGNIZES ORDER
Numbers 30 is important in understanding biblical principles concerning vows, authority and accountability.
The chapter addresses vows made by women and describes circumstances involving the authority of a father or husband.
Where a daughter living in her father’s house made a vow and her father heard it and disallowed it, the vow did not stand.
Likewise, the chapter addresses a husband’s authority concerning a vow made by his wife.
«“But if her father disallow her in the day that he heareth; not any of her vows, or of her bonds wherewith she hath bound her soul, shall stand.”»
— Numbers 30:5 KJV
The larger principle is that Scripture recognizes relational authority, accountability and boundaries.
Therefore, a woman should not automatically assume that every religious demand placed upon her has divine authority simply because somebody says:
“God told you to do it.”
There must be discernment concerning who is speaking, what authority they actually possess, what God has actually commanded and what other legitimate responsibilities are involved.
SPIRITUAL FATHERHOOD IS NOT OWNERSHIP
Women must learn the difference between:
spiritual fatherhood and spiritual ownership;
mentorship and possession;
discipleship and dependency;
covering and control;
honour and idolatry;
service and servitude;
sacrifice and exploitation.
A spiritual leader is not given ownership over another adult simply because that person respects the leader.
A woman does not surrender her entire personhood because she serves under a ministry.
THE WOLF DOES NOT ALWAYS LOOK LIKE A WOLF
Jesus warned:
«“Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves.”»
— Matthew 7:15 KJV
The exploiter may preach holiness.
The manipulator may quote Scripture.
The controller may speak about submission.
The opportunist may constantly invoke the anointing.
The person benefiting from another woman’s labour may call it kingdom service.
Therefore, religious vocabulary alone cannot prove spiritual legitimacy.
Jesus said:
«“Wherefore by their fruits ye shall know them.”»
— Matthew 7:20 KJV
WHEN SACRIFICE BECOMES AN EXPECTATION
There is a major difference between:
“I want to do this for the Lord.”
and:
“You must do this because you are a woman of God.”
The first may be sacrifice.
The second can become manipulation.
There is a difference between:
“The Spirit of God has placed this in my heart.”
and:
“If you refuse, you are disobedient to God.”
There is a difference between:
“I am honoured to support this genuine servant of God.”
and:
“This person is entitled to my labour because they are God’s servant.”
There is a difference between honour and entitlement.
SHAME ON THE EXPLOITER
And to those who deliberately exploit women under the guise of ministry:
Shame on you.
Shame on anyone who uses the language of God to disguise personal greed.
Shame on anyone who consumes the labour of women while denying them dignity.
Shame on anyone who continually calls upon a woman’s gifts but pushes her aside when she herself needs help.
And shame on anyone who sees a vulnerable woman who needs assistance and turns that vulnerability into an opportunity for sexual exploitation.
A woman should never have to trade sexual access for:
a job,
a ministry opportunity,
financial assistance,
a recommendation,
a position,
a favour,
or basic human help.
That is not ministry.
That is an abuse of power.
Vulnerability is not consent.
Need is not an invitation.
Ministry authority is not sexual entitlement.
WOMEN MUST KNOW THEIR VALUE
A woman of God is not merely somebody who can be called whenever there is work to be done.
She is not merely:
the administrator,
the organizer,
the fundraiser,
the event planner,
the media person,
the accountant,
the intercessor,
the driver,
the caregiver,
the unpaid professional,
or the perpetual emergency resource of a ministry.
She may do any of these things when God leads her and when she freely chooses to do so.
But her willingness must never become an excuse for somebody else’s irresponsibility.
If an organization consistently depends upon a woman’s professional skills, time and labour, there should be an honest conversation about the value of that labour.
THE MAN OF GOD ALSO HAS A RESPONSIBILITY
The responsibility does not rest upon women alone.
A genuine servant of God must be careful not to take advantage of people’s devotion.
Paul demonstrated this principle:
«“Not because I desire a gift: but I desire fruit that may abound to your account.”»
— Philippians 4:17 KJV
That is the heart of legitimate ministry.
The servant of God should desire fruit in the lives of the people, not merely access to their resources.
The mature leader should continually ask:
Am I building this woman, or am I consuming her?
Am I helping her discover her assignment, or am I making her serve mine?
Am I developing her capacity, or am I becoming dependent upon it?
Am I honouring her calling, or am I using her calling to advance myself?
MANY HAVE BEEN SPIRITUALLY WOUNDED IN THE NAME OF SERVICE
We must acknowledge the damage that can occur when spiritual authority is abused.
Some women have been financially depleted.
Some have had their gifts appropriated without recognition.
Some have been publicly humiliated after years of private service.
Some have been discarded when they could no longer provide what a ministry wanted.
Some have experienced sexual pressure or exploitation when they were financially or emotionally vulnerable.
Some have suffered profound spiritual trauma because people who claimed to represent Christ became the source of their deepest wounds.
This is serious.
We should be careful with the expression “murdered in the name of service to God” when referring to literal death, because such claims require evidence.
But spiritual and emotional destruction are also serious realities, and Jesus gave a severe warning about causing harm to those who belong to Him.
«“But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck…”»
— Matthew 18:6 KJV
God takes the treatment of His people seriously.
KNOW THE SEASON
There is another crucial dimension:
Every divine assignment has a season.
Some assignments have a beginning.
Some have a middle.
Some have an ending.
Faithfulness sometimes means staying.
Faithfulness sometimes means leaving.
The same ministry that was once your training ground may not be your destination.
The same person God once used to introduce you to something may not be the person God intends to lead you into the next dimension.
And leaving a ministry is not automatically rebellion.
Staying is not automatically faithfulness.
The question is: What is God saying now?
«“To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven.”»
— Ecclesiastes 3:1 KJV
WHEN THE SPIRIT SAYS, “BRANCH OFF”
There can come a moment when the Holy Spirit says:
“Branch off.”
That does not necessarily mean:
“They are bad.”
It does not necessarily mean:
“Everything they taught you was false.”
It does not necessarily mean:
“Everything you did there was wasted.”
It may simply mean:
“Your assignment there has reached its appointed boundary.”
And when you discover that the path you are on is no longer leading toward what God has shown you, make the U-turn.
Do not remain simply because:
“I have been here for years.”
“I have sacrificed too much.”
“They need me.”
“What will people say?”
“Everybody will think I have rebelled.”
The question is:
What is God saying now?
If the Spirit says:
“Branch off.”
Then branch off.
If He says:
“Move.”
Then move.
If He says:
“Build what I have shown you.”
Then build.
If He says:
“This season is over.”
Then honour the season that was and obey the season that is.
DO NOT DESTROY THE BRIDGE
Leaving does not always require warfare.
Sometimes you do not have to expose everybody.
Sometimes you do not have to insult the person who helped you.
Sometimes you do not have to rewrite history.
Sometimes you can simply say:
“Thank you for the part you played in my journey. God has given me another instruction.”
You can honour the past without remaining trapped in it.
You can appreciate the vessel God used without worshipping the vessel.
You can acknowledge the ministry that trained you without allowing it to become the boundary of your destiny.
You can leave without hatred.
You can branch off without sabotage.
You can build your own assignment without destroying another person’s assignment.
GOD SEES THE AFFLICTION OF HIS DAUGHTERS
God is not blind to what happens behind religious titles.
He sees the woman who gives everything and is treated as though she has given nothing.
He sees the woman whose labour is taken for granted.
He sees the woman who is spiritually intimidated into doing what God never commanded her to do.
He sees the woman whose legitimate responsibilities are dismissed in the name of ministry.
He sees the woman who has been made to feel guilty for establishing a boundary.
He sees the woman whose gifts are consumed but whose own calling is never developed.
And Scripture declares:
«“For the oppression of the poor, for the sighing of the needy, now will I arise, saith the LORD.”»
— Psalm 12:5 KJV
And:
«“For God is not unrighteous to forget your work and labour of love, which ye have shewed toward his name.”»
— Hebrews 6:10 KJV
God remembers the labour of His daughters—even when men do not.
THE RECKONING
There is a reckoning concerning the misuse of God’s people.
Not because women should stop serving.
But because the sons and daughters of God must learn the difference between service and exploitation.
The Church cannot preach freedom while operating systems of hidden bondage.
It cannot preach righteousness while normalizing injustice.
It cannot preach the dignity of human beings created in God’s image while consuming the labour of women as though their gifts have no value.
And it cannot invoke God to justify what God Himself has not commanded.
The restoration is not the liberation of women from serving God.
It is the liberation of God’s daughters from false obligations that God never placed upon them.
Let genuine servants of God be honoured.
Let genuine daughters of God serve freely.
Let legitimate labour receive appropriate reward.
Let ministries care for the people whose labour sustains them.
Let women learn discernment.
Let men of God demonstrate integrity.
Let vulnerable women be protected rather than exploited.
Let nobody use sexual access as the price of ministry assistance.
Let legitimate spiritual authority remain accountable.
Let boundaries be respected.
Let divine assignments be honoured.
And when the assignment is over, let God’s daughters have the courage to branch off without guilt.
THE FINAL WORD TO GOD’S DAUGHTERS
You are not called to be anybody’s spiritual slave.
You are not called to become anybody’s unpaid property.
You are not called to surrender your discernment because somebody carries a title.
You are not called to remain somewhere forever because God once sent you there.
But neither are you called to abandon a genuine assignment simply because the people involved are imperfect.
If God sends you, serve.
If God tells you to give, give.
If God tells you to stand, stand.
If God tells you to support, support.
If God tells you to wait, wait.
If God tells you to establish a boundary, establish it.
And if God tells you to branch off—BRANCH OFF.
The assignment is God’s.
The calling is God’s.
The gifts are God’s.
The resources are God’s.
The woman is God’s.
And the final authority over the life and assignment of a daughter of God belongs to God Himself.
«“Now the Lord is that Spirit: and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty.”»
— 2 Corinthians 3:17 KJV
THE DECLARATION
The daughters of God are not kingdom commodities.
They are members of the Body of Christ.
Their gifts belong first to God.
Their service must be governed by God.
Their labour has value.
Their vulnerability must not become an opportunity for exploitation.
Their devotion must not be converted into bondage.
Their divine assignment must not be confused with human ownership.
Their season must not be confused with permanence.
And no religious system has the right to turn a woman’s love for God into an instrument for controlling, consuming, humiliating, sexually exploiting or destroying her.
God Almighty sees His daughters.
God remembers their labour.
God defends the oppressed.
God establishes order.
God gives assignments.
God gives seasons.
And when God Himself says:
“BRANCH OFF.”
She must have the courage to make the U-turn.
